Blog – Live Your Legend

Blog – Live Your Legend

Blog – Live Your LegendHow to Find Your ‘No’ So You Can Start Saying ‘Yes!’ to What Actually Matters7-Step Process to Help Make Difficult Decisions (and the #1 Thing That You Must Know to Make Any Decision Easy!)5 Unusual Ways to Get Paid Doing What You Love (Even If You’re Not an Expert Yet!)

http://liveyourlegend.net/blog/feed/ Change The World By Doing Work You Love http://liveyourlegend.net/how-to-find-your-no/ http://liveyourlegend.net/?p=10600 <div><img src=”http://liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Say-No.jpg” class=”ff-og-image-inserted”/></div><p><em><span><a href=”http://liveyourlegend.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Say-No.jpg”><img class=”wp-image-10648 size-full aligncenter” src=”http://liveyourlegend.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Say-No.jpg” width=”700″ height=”462″ srcset=”//liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Say-No.jpg 700w, //liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Say-No-300×198.jpg 300w” sizes=”(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px”/></a></span></em></p> <h6><em><span>“Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.” –John C. Maxwell</span></em></h6> <p><span>Have you ever struggled with saying no to someone or something? Are there particular people in your life where “yes” comes flying out of your mouth before you even stop to think about what you actually want? And have you ever felt resentful after saying yes to something that ended up compromising what was truly important to you?</span></p> <p><span>Most of us have been there too because generally speaking saying yes is easy. Saying no, well, that takes a little more courage!</span></p> <p><span>But why is it so hard to say no when we’re talking about sacrificing things that actually matter to us? It can be things like:</span></p> <ul><li><span>Fear of being rejected or thought poorly of by others</span></li> <li><span>Worrying that the other person won’t like you anymore or badmouth you</span></li> <li><span>A belief that we are being selfish if we say no</span></li> <li><span>Fear of conflict with others</span></li> <li><span>Wanting to be “nice” and seen as someone who contributes selflessly to others (even if we resent saying yes and contributing!)</span></li> <li><span>Attaching your self-worth to how many things you do for others</span></li> <li><span>Because you allow other people’s priorities to become your own priorities (for reasons above)</span></li> <li><span>Others start to get used to you saying yes all the time, making finding your no even more challenging.</span></li> </ul><p><span>Plus we have mostly been trained from a very young age that saying no is wrong or not okay. How many times did your parents get angry at you if you said no to doing something? Did you get sent to your room or grounded? Many of us have been stripped of our permission to say no from very early on.</span></p> <p>So it’s no wonder that many of us have lost the art of saying no. But it’s not all bad news, because saying no is just like a muscle that hasn’t been used in a while. You can still train it back into shape!</p> <p>And even if you are actually quite practiced at saying no, on the flipside are you actually saying yes to the things you really want? Are you going after what matters to you? Or are you simply saying no to everything out of a different kind of fear or resistance? Only you can know…</p> <h2><strong>Tips for Saying No &amp; Making Room for What Matters</strong></h2> <blockquote readability=”6″> <p>“The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes.” –Tony Blair</p> </blockquote> <p>Not saying no has a far greater impact than one might think, and one that compounds with time—because when we can’t say no we <em>stop focusing on what matters</em> to us and we <em>stop prioritizing what we want</em> for our lives. Additionally, saying yes all the time to please others is actually incredibly fake, builds resentment, and is a complete disservice to those you are saying yes to, when really you want to say no.</p> <p><span>So, for now we want to share some tips with you that will help get your “no”-muscle back into shape so that you can speak your truth, go after what matters to you, be responsible for living a life you love, reclaim your lost power, and actively choosing how you spend your days going forward.</span></p> <h4><strong>1. Give yourself permission to say no</strong></h4> <p><span>A while back we covered off on how to start</span> <a href=”http://liveyourlegend.net/do-you-have-permission-to-live-your-greatest-life/” target=”_blank”><span>giving yourself permission</span></a> <span>to live a life you want. And similarly here you will need to start to unravel years of social conditioning by allowing yourself the permission to actually dust off your “</span><span>no” and start using it when appropriate.</span></p> <p><span>How to do it:</span></p> <ul><li><span>Start the process by saying out loud:</span> <em><span> “I give myself permission to say ‘no’ when it’s right for me.”</span></em></li> <li><span>You may very well need to repeat this phrase multiple times until you actually start to believe it.</span></li> </ul><h4><strong>2. Allow yourself space between stimulus and response</strong></h4> <p><span>The quality of your response to a request is directly correlated to the amount of space you allow yourself to consider the request. In other words, if you are feeling like you are in a real pressure cooker to answer yes or no, then it’s highly likely you will give a response that is not high quality (aka, not true for you). So instead you need to carve out some space to reply and make sure you can: a) remind yourself of the permission you have from step 1; and b) be powerful to respond in the best way possible for you.</span></p> <p><span>How to do it:</span></p> <ul><li><span>When someone makes a request of you, you can use the following phrases to create the space you need:</span> <ul><li><span>Thanks so much for asking. I’m going to sleep on it so that I can give your request the thought it deserves.</span></li> <li><span>That sounds interesting. I just need to check in with xyz person (my husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend, business partner, parents, financial advisor, accountant, etc.)</span></li> <li><span>You know, I’m just not in a position right now to know whether or not that’s going to work for me. When do you need an answer from me?</span></li> </ul></li> </ul><h4><strong>3. Two sides of the same coin: A yes is a no &amp; a no is a yes</strong></h4> <p><span>Yes and No are two sides of the same coin. It is important to remember that whenever you say yes, it means that you are saying no to something else. And whatever you say no to, you are saying yes to something else.</span></p> <p><span>At first it might not be that obvious, but when we both realized that in saying yes to working with clients at all hours of the day/night early on in our business building we were actually saying no to our husbands and kids. That’s when sh*t got real! Once you’ve created that time between stimulus and response, now you can actually get present to what the two sides of the coin actually are.</span></p> <p><span>For example:</span></p> <ul><li><span>Saying yes to helping a friend moving house = saying no to unwinding and meditating</span></li> <li><span>Saying yes to working late = saying no to family time</span></li> <li><span>Saying no to something outside of your comfort zone = saying yes to staying small or stuck</span></li> <li><span>Saying yes to an expensive holiday = saying no to saving for your kid’s college</span></li> <li><span>Saying yes to meeting with someone for an hour = saying no to your planned exercise routine</span></li> </ul><p><span>How to do it:</span></p> <ul><li><span>Bring awareness to the fact that there is always a flip side</span></li> <li><span>Start to get clear on what each side of that coin looks like. Write out what you are saying no to but saying yes—and vice versa.</span></li> <li><span>Decide if you are ok with the flip side—this will powerfully inform your <a href=”http://liveyourlegend.net/7-step-process-to-help-make-difficult-decisions-and-the-1-thing-that-you-must-know-to-make-any-decision-easy/” target=”_blank”>decision-making</a> (which we covered last week) by allowing you to recognize which of your decisions aligns better with your values.</span></li> </ul><h4><strong>4. Deliver your no powerfully</strong></h4> <p><span>So now that you’ve given yourself permission, allowed yourself that all important space between stimulus and response, and realized that yes and no are two sides of the same coin, it’s now time to powerfully deliver your no. You have done the groundwork and now it’s time to get into action—which can initially be very daunting.</span></p> <p><span>Many people are probably quite used to you saying yes, so be prepared for a reaction that is not quite so favorable if and when you say no! But it’s important to stand your ground and allow the other person to have their thoughts and feelings.</span></p> <p><span>How to do it:</span></p> <ul><li><span>Keep in mind why you are saying no and what you will be saying yes to as a result</span></li> <li><span>Let the person know at your earliest convenience</span></li> <li><span>Keep it short and communicate with powerful language like:</span> <ul><li><em><span>Thank you so much for inviting me to X, I’ve given it careful consideration and on this occasion I will pass.</span></em></li> <li><em><span>I so appreciate you thinking of me for X, after some thought I realized that I’m simply not in a position right now to commit.</span></em></li> <li><em><span>I realize how important X is to you so it was important to me that I gave this proper time and thought. It’s a no from me, but I wanted to wish you luck with finding the right opportunity/person/partner.</span></em></li> </ul></li> </ul><p>And whatever you do, be sure not to:</p> <ul><li><span>Apologize for saying no!</span></li> <li><span>Launch into all sorts of reasons to justify your no (it will dilute your message and possibly open the door for them to push the matter and convince you).</span></li> <li><span>Be untruthful and lie.</span></li> <li><span>Say “</span><span>Okay, let me think about it,</span><span>” if it’s clear in your mind that you don’t want to do it. This will just draw out the whole situation probably making you feel even more stressed and waste the other person’s time. The sooner they get your no the sooner they can move on and find a yes.</span></li> </ul><p><span>And one final rule to remember—as Derek Sivers put so well:</span></p> <h4>5. “If it’s not a hell yes! It’s a no.”</h4> <p><span>Because life’s too short to sacrifice yourself and your dreams for things that simply aren’t a priority for you. So the more you can practice saying “no thanks” to the things that otherwise would not be on your radar, the more you can find the “Hell Yeses” for the things that, when focused on, will bring you more passion, fulfillment, aliveness and joy!</span></p> <p><span>Ready to start taking back control of what you want and get out of your own way? Then let us know in the comments below one thing you otherwise would have said yes to, but will now say no!</span></p> <p><span>–Leah &amp; Naz</span></p> <p><strong><a href=”https://blockads.fivefilters.org”>Let’s block ads!</a></strong> <a href=”https://github.com/fivefilters/block-ads/wiki/There-are-no-acceptable-ads”>(Why?)</a></p> Wed, 09 Nov 2016 19:05:16 +0000 Leah Hynes and Nazrin Murphie How to Find Your ‘No’ So You Can Start Saying ‘Yes!’ to What Actually Matters | Live Your Legend article http://liveyourlegend.net/how-to-find-your-no/ http://liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Say-No.jpg “Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.” –John C. Maxwell Have you ever struggled with saying no to someone or something? Are there particular people in your life where “yes” comes flying out of your mouth before you even stop to think about what you actually want? And have you ever felt resentful after saying yes to something that ended up compromising what was truly important to you? Most of us have been there too because generally speaking saying yes is easy. Saying no, well, that takes a little more courage! But why is it so hard to say no when we’re talking about sacrificing things that actually matter to us? It can be things like: Fear of being rejected or thought poorly of by others Worrying that the other person won’t like you anymore or badmouth you A belief that we are being selfish if we say no Fear of conflict with others Wanting to be “nice” and seen as someone who contributes selflessly to others (even if we resent saying yes and contributing!) en-US text/html http://liveyourlegend.net/how-to-find-your-no/ Career & Purpose Communication & Rapport Emotions & Happiness Productivity Simplicity http://liveyourlegend.net/7-step-process-to-help-make-difficult-decisions-and-the-1-thing-that-you-must-know-to-make-any-decision-easy/ http://liveyourlegend.net/?p=10614 <div><img src=”http://liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lyl-social-thumb.png” class=”ff-og-image-inserted”/></div><h6><a href=”http://liveyourlegend.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Decisions.jpg”><img class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-10615″ src=”http://liveyourlegend.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Decisions.jpg” alt=”Live Your Legend: Decision Making” width=”700″ height=”581″ srcset=”//liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Decisions.jpg 700w, //liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Decisions-300×249.jpg 300w” sizes=”(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px”/></a></h6> <h6>“Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.” –Unknown</h6> <p>Decisions, decisions, decisions… how many of you have ever felt decision fatigue? Or felt a little stuck in the decision-making process? I sure know I have!</p> <p>So earlier this year, when I attended a 5-day financial planning seminar where I heard from speakers such as George W. Bush, T. Boone Pickens, Peter Diamantis and Tony Robbins, aside from my head really hurting from all the discussions on investments, the economy and asset classes, I was surprised to find that one of the topics that kept coming up was how these incredibly successful leaders went about making decisions—many of which took place under tremendous pressure—such as 9/11, the 2008 stock market crash and being on the verge of bankruptcy.</p> <p>Hearing those circumstances makes your decision seem a little less stressful, doesn’t it?! 🙂</p> <p>Yet, there is no doubt that decision making can be tough—especially if and when you feel like you are making a decision between two evils. But true leaders, the people who stand out from the rest, are the ones who act and decide instead of crumble in the face of needing to make a decision. These are the people who thrive and survive no matter what chaos is happening around them.</p> <p>So, while I still have a long way to go—today I’d like to share a decision-making process that I use when making tough decisions. I do this often (in both business and with personal decisions) to make sure I am acting in alignment and with intention.</p> <p>Constantly checking in with why and how you make your decisions will ensure that you don’t wake up 5 years from now and wonder how the heck you got where you are!</p> <p>So let’s dive right into the 7-step process (alongside some fun stories) that I use anytime I am faced with a big decision.</p> <h2><strong>7-Step Process to Help Make Any Decision</strong></h2> <h4><strong>1. Write Out Your Values and/or Priorities</strong></h4> <blockquote readability=”5″> <p>“It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are.” –Roy E. Disney</p> </blockquote> <p>When you know your values, decisions become incredibly easy! But sometimes it takes revisiting what your values are to bring that easy decision to light.</p> <p>For example, at Live Your Legend, we get approached often with affiliate and partnership offers. If we choose to participate in them, it might bring in some extra cash, but that’s not in alignment with our values at Live Your Legend.</p> <p>Our core values at Live Your Legend are:</p> <ul><li>Authenticity</li> <li>Integrity</li> <li>Compassion</li> <li>Service, and</li> <li>Community.</li> </ul><p>So if someone on the LYL team has not personally used a product (and seen massive results!), we won’t suggest it to you.</p> <p>This means we turn down a lot of offers! And, sure, it would be easy to think about making a few extra bucks, but integrity, offering the best of the best and adding massive value to all of you matters to us over profit. Sometimes things are tempting but then I ask myself, why do I want to do this? If it is driven by a financial incentive, it quickly becomes very easy to say no.</p> <p>And generally when a decision “doesn’t feel right” (see point 5 below!) it is because that decision came from a place that isn’t in line with your core values or priorities.</p> <p>On the flip side, when you make a decisions from an intentional place—a place aligned with who you (or your organization) are—that is when you can look at that decision and say “no matter how it turns out, at least I approached this from a place of value,” meaning you are welcome to the lesson you learn from it… however that may look.</p> <h4><strong>2. Know Your Intended Outcome</strong></h4> <blockquote readability=”7″> <p>“If you don’t know what you are looking for, you are never going to find it.” –Scott Dinsmore</p> </blockquote> <p>Oftentimes decisions become easy when you have a clear outcome—and you save yourself a ton of wasted time!</p> <p>I approach most things I go into (especially meetings, calls, etc.) with that question: What is my outcome? I even <a href=”http://liveyourlegend.net/the-importance-of-meaningful-connections-how-i-prepared-for-my-world-domination-summit-keynote-why-no-one-does-anything-alone/” target=”_blank”>prepared for my World Domination Summit keynote</a> by starting with that question.</p> <p>Not only does knowing your outcome create space for a very intentional decision, it also helps keep you focused. For example, we hold a monthly team call at LYL and the outcome is always to celebrate what happened the past month, discuss what we could have done better (think one “keep” and one “grow”) and then discuss the main objective or project we are working on for the next month. In keeping that simple structure, it allows us to stay on track with what really matters instead of get lost in the details.</p> <p>I also take this approach as I plan my week by writing out the three things that MUST get done that week to tick the needle a little further forward. Three is always a doable number no matter what I am doing and has allowed me to be insanely productive with this business this year, despite all the personal processing and travel that I have done.</p> <p>It is easy to get analysis paralysis when you have too many things on your plate—so simplify. Easier said than done, I know, but that’s why starting with the end in mind is a great way to get you more directly from point A to point B.</p> <h4><strong>3. List Out Your Options (3–5 minimum)</strong></h4> <blockquote readability=”5″> <p>“Luck is where opportunity meets preparation.” –Seneca</p> </blockquote> <p>Too often we limit ourselves to thinking there are only two options in any given situation—but if you get creative enough, you will likely realize that you have a lot more options than you think! A short story…</p> <p>A few years ago, Scott and I were invited to two weddings—one that took place in New York on Friday and in Carmel, CA on Saturday.</p> <p>Originally, it may have appeared that we had to pick one or the other, but we didn’t limit ourselves to that thinking. Instead we gave ourselves a third option—to go to both! How, you ask? We didn’t really know—but once it was an available option, it was on the table.</p> <p>To make a long story short, we showed up in New York on Friday, made the wedding and instead of staying where the wedding was outside the city, we drove to an airport hotel that night so we could catch the first flight out of JFK on Saturday. We arrived to SFO around noon and drove to Carmel as soon as we landed.</p> <p>Were we under-slept? Yes. Did we barely have time to shower and freshen up? Yes. Did I wear the same dress to two weddings two nights in a row? Yes. But none of those things mattered when we saw the look on the bride and groom’s faces as we got to witness the best day of their lives.</p> <p>The point is: there are always more options than you think. Write out all the options you can think of, especially the things that seem kinda crazy! At a very minimum, list out 3 (if not more) options.</p> <h4><strong>4. Determine What Is Guiding Your Decision and Eliminate All Shoulds!</strong></h4> <blockquote readability=”6″> <p>“Good decisions don’t come from self-delusion—they come from ruthless self-knowledge and brutal honesty.” –Jonathan Fields</p> </blockquote> <p>Self-analyze and decide if you are approaching your decisions from a place of fear or from a place of love. I have spent a ton of time this year practicing listening to my heart instead of my head. Which causes me to do things that don’t always appear “logical”—but I’ve decided logic isn’t the place I want to lead from. And as a result of that, I have had some pretty crazy “coincidences.”</p> <p>As I mentioned in <a href=”http://liveyourlegend.net/getting-real-33-honest-personal-stories-fears-facts-you-dont-know-about-me/” target=”_blank”>a post I did a while back</a>, when I was at a transition in my career, I got accepted to a very reputable program to get my Masters in Public Health but instead chose to get my yoga certification. Definitely not the logical step in some people’s minds! But at the time, I was far more excited about yoga than I was about Public Health.</p> <p>My head was telling me school was the practical choice, but my heart was telling me that it had a passion and interest in yoga. In short, the idea of a master’s degree was what I thought I <em>should</em> do to be successful, but my heart felt differently.</p> <p>And while I don’t teach yoga anymore, it led me down a path to discovering and landing my dream job that I stayed in for nearly 5 years—until I began to discover that as I grew, my dreams grew, too. So I moved on to something new.</p> <p>So, how do you listen to your heart, you ask? Good question! As it is something we often get taught to stop doing as we grow up.</p> <p>The best way to start listening to your heart is to become hyper self-aware. This means recognizing feelings instead of mental chatter. When you start trying to talk yourself out of something… “Well, that doesn’t make sense? What would so-and-so think of me? I could never do that…” that’s generally you trying to use logic to rationalize why you shouldn’t do something you actually want to do at some level!</p> <p><em>So, if you find yourself trying to talk yourself out of something, dig into that, because it means there is something at some level that you want to do in the first place!</em></p> <p>And the only things you shouldn’t do are the things you think you <em>should</em> do!</p> <p>Because, not a single person is better for it—you, or the people you are around you!</p> <h4><strong>5. Determine Which of These Options Aligns Best with Your Values/Priorities</strong></h4> <blockquote readability=”6″> <p>“Life lived by choice is a life of conscious action. A life lived by chance is a life of unconscious reaction.” –Neale Donald Walsch</p> </blockquote> <p>I have always believed it is an incredible honor to be asked to attend a wedding. Anyone who has been married knows that creating the guest list is one of the most challenging tasks! And I was married before most of my friends since Scott and I met so young—so I decided early on that I would do my very best to attend as many weddings as I was invited to.</p> <p>Therefore, you can see that in the example above, sleep and being at my best wasn’t my priority, it was being present at an important day for people that meant something to me. There were years this led me to going to double digit weddings in a single year (and multiple back-to-back weddings in different cities). That meant I had to say no to other things—family obligations at home or traveling to places I maybe would have personally chosen instead of where a wedding brought me—but because my priority was to honor the honor of being invited, it was never once a tough decision.</p> <h4><strong>6. Narrow Down to Two Options, Then Ask: How Would I Feel if I Did X Versus X? Would I Regret Not Doing X?</strong></h4> <blockquote readability=”5″> <p>“You’ll never regret doing a little more living.” –Scott Dinsmore</p> </blockquote> <p>Once again, tapping into the logical or societally acceptable thing to do, is when you are listening to all that is around you instead of what it is that you actually want to do. However, in order to ever be fulfilled by doing something, <em>you</em> must actually want to do it.</p> <p>I hear people all the time say they go to things because they feel obligated. Why do they feel obligated? Because they want to appear a good person, a good employee, a good family member, etc. But the problem is, if you don’t actually find a way to want to be there, you won’t really be there at all—which just wastes everyone’s time! So in my opinion you have two options:</p> <ol><li>Create a compelling reason to want to go (that matters to you)</li> <li>Don’t go!</li> </ol><p>I don’t mean to sound harsh here. I am all about attending things that matter to people. I do it all the time. I actually say yes more than most! But I can do so without the “should” or obligation because I genuinely see an opportunity in every experience—that is true and honest to me.</p> <p>I also actually like supporting others’ endeavors when I can—which means I don’t then come home and complain about going—because I do actually want to go!</p> <p>So ask yourself the following three questions:</p> <ol><li><strong><em>How would I feel if I did X?</em></strong> Strung out, tired, bored? Or excited, enthusiastic, curious?</li> <li><strong><em>How would I feel if I didn’t do X?</em></strong> Relieved, relaxed, refreshed? Guilty, like I was missing out, unsupportive?</li> <li>And most importantly, <em><strong>would I regret not doing X?</strong></em> This generally tends to make a decision pretty clear, as regret is a powerful motivator. And remember, the more you know yourself, understand your values, what matters to you, etc. the more clear these answers become! And that is why becoming a self-expert is the first step in living life on purpose!</li> </ol><p>One huge red flag: if you find yourself complaining about something (especially before it’s even taken place), you need to either align with it or do yourself and everyone a favor and not do it.</p> <h4><strong>7. If the Answer Is Still Not Clear, Stay Curious Because It Will Force You to Get Creative!</strong></h4> <blockquote readability=”5″> <p>“Curiosity cultivates creativity.” –Chelsea Dinsmore</p> </blockquote> <p>One of the main lessons I shared in my <a href=”http://liveyourlegend.net/3-crucial-concepts-to-overcome-challenge/” target=”_blank”>World Domination Summit keynote</a> was the power of staying curious and turning statements into questions. If you ever find yourself at a crossroads, at a stopping point, or stuck somewhere, it’s often not a lack of resources but rather a lack of being creative.</p> <p>For example, there are many times over the last year of running LYL, where I have simply wanted to throw my hands up in the air and say, “This is too much! I can’t.” But thankfully, I have instilled a practice of turning those statements into questions.</p> <p>When my mind says: “This is too much,” I instead ask: “Why does this feel like too much?” (i.e., what is this really tapping into—my fear of failure, my ego, etc.?) or “Who might I be able to ask for help?” or “What else could I do?”</p> <p>When my mind says: “I can’t,” I instead ask: “If you could, what would be your smallest next step?” or “Why is this important to you?”</p> <p>When you question not what you can do, but why it is important to you, the answers start to reveal themselves. Because when you stay curious, instead of closed off, possibilities that you otherwise might not see start to appear…</p> <p>And it is by taking advantage of those possibilities that you start to move from the ordinary to the extraordinary!</p> <p>I hope this decision-making process helps you find some ease in a big decision you might be facing.</p> <p>We’d love to hear in the comments below a big decisions you’re dealing with and the tips you used to get over decision indecision.</p> <p>Here’s to acting (and deciding) with intention,</p> <p>–Chelsea Dinsmore</p> <p>P.S. Knowing your values is the most important factor in making intentional decisions which is why we dive deep into the topic in our <a href=”https://liveoffyourpassion.com/joinus/?utm_source=lyl&amp;utm_medium=blog&amp;utm_content=coursespg&amp;utm_campaign=lyl2014″ onclick=”_gaq.push([‘_trackEvent’, ‘outbound-article’, ‘https://liveoffyourpassion.com/joinus/?utm_source=lyl&amp;utm_medium=blog&amp;utm_content=coursespg&amp;utm_campaign=lyl2014’, ‘Live Off Your Passion’]);”>Live Off Your Passion</a> course. Check it out to get guided through the process of actually discovering your values.</p> <p><strong><a href=”https://blockads.fivefilters.org”>Let’s block ads!</a></strong> <a href=”https://github.com/fivefilters/block-ads/wiki/There-are-no-acceptable-ads”>(Why?)</a></p> Wed, 02 Nov 2016 17:00:25 +0000 Chelsea Dinsmore 7-Step Process to Help Make Difficult Decisions (and the #1 Thing That You Must Know to Make Any Decision Easy!) | Live Your Legend article http://liveyourlegend.net/7-step-process-to-help-make-difficult-decisions-and-the-1-thing-that-you-must-know-to-make-any-decision-easy/ http://liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lyl-social-thumb.png “Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.” –Unknown Decisions, decisions, decisions… how many of you have ever felt decision fatigue? Or felt a little stuck in the decision-making process? I sure know I have! So earlier this year, when I attended a 5-day financial planning seminar where I heard from speakers such as George W. Bush, T. Boone Pickens, Peter Diamantis and Tony Robbins, aside from my head really hurting from all the discussions on investments, the economy and asset classes, I was surprised to find that one of the topics that kept coming up was how these incredibly successful leaders went about making decisions—many of which took place under tremendous pressure—such as 9/11, the 2008 stock market crash and being on the verge of bankruptcy. Hearing those circumstances makes your decision seem a little less stressful, doesn’t it?! 🙂 Yet, there is no doubt that decision making can be tough—especially if and when you feel like you are en-US text/html http://liveyourlegend.net/7-step-process-to-help-make-difficult-decisions-and-the-1-thing-that-you-must-know-to-make-any-decision-easy/ Career & Purpose Emotions & Happiness Entrepreneurship Influence & Negotiating Simplicity http://liveyourlegend.net/5-unusual-ways-to-get-paid-doing-what-you-love-even-if-youre-not-an-expert-yet/ http://liveyourlegend.net/?p=10604 <div><img src=”http://liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lyl-social-thumb.png” class=”ff-og-image-inserted”/></div><p><a href=”http://liveyourlegend.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Get-Paid-Doing-What-You-Love.jpg”><img class=”size-full wp-image-10620 aligncenter” src=”http://liveyourlegend.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Get-Paid-Doing-What-You-Love.jpg” alt=”Live Your Legend: Get Paid Doing What You Love” width=”700″ height=”494″ srcset=”//liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Get-Paid-Doing-What-You-Love.jpg 700w, //liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Get-Paid-Doing-What-You-Love-300×212.jpg 300w” sizes=”(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px”/></a></p> <h6><em><span>“It is more rewarding to watch money change the world than to watch it accumulate.” </span></em><em><span>–Gloria Steinem</span></em></h6> <p><span>When you first start pursuing work that really lights you up, it’s super exciting and fulfilling. You can spend hours being lost in the flow of creating and building. It’s fun, it feels easy, it feels right! But at some point, if you are looking to <a href=”https://liveoffyourpassion.com/joinus/” onclick=”_gaq.push([‘_trackEvent’, ‘outbound-article’, ‘https://liveoffyourpassion.com/joinus/’, ‘live off your passion’]);” target=”_blank”>live off your passion</a>, you eventually come across the question of making money—and for a lot of us that’s when the brakes are applied.</span></p> <p><span>The thought of charging actual dollars scares the sh*t out of most people and can bring up all kinds of thoughts, such as:</span></p> <ul><li><em><span>I’m not expert enough yet! Who am I to ask for money?!</span></em></li> <li><em><span>How can I possibly charge for doing something I love?</span></em></li> <li><em><span>What if people say no?</span></em></li> <li><em>If I am charging money that means I am taking from someone… doesn’t it? </em></li> </ul><p><span>Have you ever had those thoughts?</span></p> <p>While the only thing you should ever be charging for is something that is actually adding value to another person or solving some sort of problem in the world, it is still easy to question whether you are a “bad person” if you ask for money for skills that come naturally to you—after all, many of us are conditioned this way in our childhood, and it is hard to break free of that early-childhood conditioning.</p> <p><span>For many, the first months (maybe years?!) of pursing a passion is all about experimenting and learning about what works and doesn’t, seeing how people respond, etc. Which is great—because that feedback from others is super valuable.</span></p> <p><span>But at some point if you don’t start </span><span>making money doing what you love, you are simply left with a hobby. And that’s fine, if that’s your intention. But if your goal is to eventually transition to this kind of passion-based work full time, earning income is a requirement!</span></p> <p><span>And as a side note, our guess is that many of you reading this are creating offerings that are service-based and this comes with an additional challenge because sometimes we tie our personal value and worth to that service. Which means that when someone says no, there is the potential for us to make that mean: “</span><em><span>They don’t believe in who I am. I am not worthy of their investment.”</span></em></p> <p><span>But the truth is: your worth is unchangeable. Remember that when offering your personal services like coaching, mentoring, running workshops, speaking, and anything else that is personal to you and your presence. Potential clients are either saying YES or NO to <em>your offering</em>, not <em>you as a person!</em></span></p> <p><span>Today we are going to share with you the baby steps you can take to bust this fear of asking for money. Why? Because:</span></p> <ul><li><span>We want to make sure you get your unique and beautiful gifts out into the world in a sustainable way.</span></li> <li><span>It’s a great way to start experimenting and practicing your talents in the real world with real, paying people.</span></li> <li><span>So you can start to build a portfolio of experience.</span></li> <li><span>So you can start to get invaluable feedback from those you are serving (paying clients are often more invested than those who get free stuff).</span></li> <li><span>In the hope that you can get more comfortable with asking for something in return for what you are providing.</span></li> <li><span>There is a multitude of ways to receive value in return for what you give (and we want to shine a light on some alternate, even unusual ideas!).</span></li> </ul><h2>5 Unusual Ways to Get Paid Doing What You Love</h2> <h4><strong>1. The $1 Challenge—Ask for “Seed Money” </strong></h4> <p><span>Sometimes all it takes is that first baby step to get you over the hurdle of a fear like asking for money. When we started out, we were so paralyzed by asking for money that we set ourselves a simple challenge over a week:</span></p> <ol><li><span>We found an empty jar at home,</span></li> <li><span>Labeled it “Passion Project Seed Fund”, and</span></li> <li><span>Started to ask our friends and family for just a $1 contribution as “seed money” toward what we were building.</span></li> </ol><p><span>It felt awkward, kind of ridiculous, and very vulnerable (especially with those closest to us), but slowly and surely we filled each of our jars, many people gave us more than $1 and we realized actually how good it felt to receive money for what we were creating, even if it wasn’t more than $30 combined!</span></p> <p><span>It was a powerful first step in disappearing the fear of asking for money and remembering that it was a contribution toward the larger vision, as opposed to filling our personal pockets. We highly recommend you set yourself the same challenge if this fear is true for you too.</span></p> <p><span>You can also make slight variations to this by requesting the contribution to the “seed fund” and then providing a thank you in return like:</span></p> <ul><li><span>creating hand-designed thank-you cards</span></li> <li><span>creating unique video compilations</span></li> <li><span>giving them a little supporters badge</span></li> <li><span>free hugs!</span></li> </ul><h4><strong>2. Ask for Testimonials Instead of $$</strong></h4> <p><span>Testimonials are the most valuable thing you can request in exchange for your services—and are especially useful when you are still dealing with the fear of asking for dollars. The surprising thing though is that this actually makes for a much better experience on the recipient’s end because they feel less like they are getting a “freebie” and it becomes more of an equal exchange. You might be surprised to know that people actually usually prefer to give something in return as it makes them feel less like</span> <em><span>they</span></em> <span>are taking!</span></p> <p><span>These testimonials also form part of you “seeding” what you are creating as they validate and provide credibility to what you are doing, no matter how early on in the process you are. And we highly recommend requesting these even if you are charging money.</span></p> <p><span>So if you are providing a free service while you find your feet, before agreeing to go ahead, ask the person you are serving that instead of paying money if they’d be willing to:</span></p> <ul><li><span>provide you with constructive feedback to help you improve, and</span></li> <li><span>a testimonial (either written or video) if they felt compelled.</span></li> </ul><p><span>If you are asking for feedback, be sure to give them full permission and reassurance that you promise you won’t get upset and that their honest feedback will help immensely to further and improve what you are creating (and then keep that promise!).</span></p> <h4><strong>3. Trial a “Pay What You Want” Model</strong></h4> <p><span>Trial a “Pay What You Want” model to get your feet wet accepting payment and to get an understanding of what people are willing to pay for what you are creating.</span></p> <p><span>Fantastic platforms like</span> <a href=”https://gumroad.com/” onclick=”_gaq.push([‘_trackEvent’, ‘outbound-article’, ‘https://gumroad.com/’, ‘Gumroad’]);”><span>Gumroad</span></a> <span>and</span> <a href=”https://www.eventbrite.com.au/” onclick=”_gaq.push([‘_trackEvent’, ‘outbound-article’, ‘https://www.eventbrite.com.au/’, ‘Eventbrite’]);”><span>Eventbrite</span></a> <span>(you can set up a “Donation” option) are an awesome place to start experimenting. Be sure to also provide a guide price, so that people have a ballpark figure.</span></p> <ul><li><span>After creating your offer, simply set up a couple of purchase options like “Early Bird”, “Event Attendee”, “Donation”, “Pay What You Want”, etc.</span></li> <li><span>Include in your description why you are including the “Donation” or “Pay What You Want” options (e.g., to make the offer accessible to everyone, to ensure nobody is excluded due to financial limitations, etc.)</span></li> <li><span>Make a request that to support what you are building, if they are in a financial position to do so, to purchase the early bird or full-priced purchase option so that you can keep on doing what you are doing!</span></li> </ul><p><span>While this is a great strategy to begin with, in the long term we actually would not recommend a “Pay What You Want” model for providing services. Mainly because the time investment required from you, as well as other fixed costs (like venue hire, supplies, etc.), means that you might end up at a loss. But the experience is an invaluable place to start.</span></p> <h4><strong>4. Find an Intermediary</strong></h4> <p><span>If asking for money is incredibly problematic for you right now, then consider finding an “intermediary” to collaborate with, so that they are the ones on the coal face (on the front lines offering the service or product for sale), while you deliver the service/product, and you both take a percentage. This can be a great option if charging is preventing you from making your unique impact in the world long-term.</span></p> <p><span>After we took the first release of the Connect With Anyone course we saw an opportunity to add value to what Scott had created and after supporting for free on a couple of rounds of the course, we asked him if we could run professionally facilitated coaching groups. Scott said yes and so it meant that we only had one person to sell to (Scott!) and once we had negotiated a fair remuneration, he took care of the rest with us simply in a support role.</span></p> <p><span>The key here is to:</span></p> <ol><li><span>Get super clear on what your natural talents and strengths are.</span></li> <li><span>Find someone working in a similar space to you (or where you want to be) who doesn’t possess those same strengths AND is comfortable with sales.</span></li> <li><span>Make sure you find an intermediary who shares the same values as you and works with similar kinds of people.</span></li> <li><span>Reach out and give them a “teaser” of how you could add value to them and their offering (Meaning: don’t land them with the whole offer and idea in one huge email).</span></li> <li><span>If they are open, share some options for how you could add value, always focusing on how it will benefit them or what they are creating.</span></li> <li><span>Give them full permission to say “no thanks” and show them that you are unattached to the outcome, but genuinely looking to help.</span></li> <li><span>If it’s a “hell yes!” then let them know your thoughts about a fair “cut” or remuneration and negotiate until you are both comfortable.</span></li> <li><span>And remember! Especially if this is an early opportunity, always remember that the experience and relationship are more important than the dollars. So even if the money is not as much as you would like, but the collaboration will be super beneficial all round… go for it!</span></li> </ol><h4><strong>5. Invite Collaboration</strong></h4> <p><span>Another awesome great start to getting paid is to find collaborators who have skills and services that you don’t (and vice versa) and agree on an exchange of services.</span></p> <p>For example, as you start out, what is important is gaining experience and understanding who you want to ideally work with. So this may look something like saying: ­“<em>So</em><em><span><em> the</em> options are: You can join at $X, you can decline our offer, and/or you can hit us with a counter-offer where perhaps you give something/add value in exchange at a discounted price!”</span></em></p> <p>Suddenly what you are offering is no longer <em>just</em> about a pure monetary investment… It becomes a way to add skills and value to what you are doing, that you are not capable of and/or would normally pay someone to do. It will also mean that the <em>right people</em> will be joining you because they are <em>that</em> invested—and there is no bigger win-win than working with your ideal customer!</p> <p>So who do you know that you would love to work with and can propose a switch of services? Because especially in the early days of your journey, having collaborators on board to help with the areas you are not expert in is incredible valuable.</p> <p><strong>Stop robbing the world of your unique talents and gifts!</strong></p> <p><span>Remember, these tips are to get you out of the stands and into the arena, because if you are committed to living your legend and making money from it… well, then, you have to start asking for money!</span></p> <p><span>There is simply no other way around it.</span></p> <p><span>And remember: You are NOT “taking” from someone—you are providing something they actually need and have likely been waiting for! You are fulfilling a need that only you can uniquely serve.</span></p> <p>So stop robbing them (pun intended!) of that opportunity to progress their own journey. Get out of your own way, and start practicing being open to receiving as much as you are giving the world.</p> <p>Then share with us in the comments below a story about a hurdle you overcame!</p> <p>There’s no time to waste…</p> <p>–Leah &amp; Naz</p> <p>P.S. Interested in other alternative ways to make money from your passions and talents? Check out our workshop on <em><strong><a href=”http://liveyourlegend.net/make-your-first-1000-dollars-workshop/” target=”_blank”>How to Earn Your First $1,000 From Your Passions and Talents</a></strong></em>.</p> <p>Photo Credit: <a href=”http://www.mentawaiislands.com” onclick=”_gaq.push([‘_trackEvent’, ‘outbound-article’, ‘http://www.mentawaiislands.com’, ‘Kandui Resort’]);” target=”_blank”>Kandui Resort</a></p> <p><strong><a href=”https://blockads.fivefilters.org”>Let’s block ads!</a></strong> <a href=”https://github.com/fivefilters/block-ads/wiki/There-are-no-acceptable-ads”>(Why?)</a></p> Wed, 26 Oct 2016 17:00:14 +0000 Leah Hynes and Nazrin Murphie 5 Unusual Ways to Get Paid Doing What You Love (Even If You’re Not an Expert Yet!) | Live Your Legend article http://liveyourlegend.net/5-unusual-ways-to-get-paid-doing-what-you-love-even-if-youre-not-an-expert-yet/ http://liveyourlegend.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lyl-social-thumb.png “It is more rewarding to watch money change the world than to watch it accumulate.” –Gloria Steinem When you first start pursuing work that really lights you up, it’s super exciting and fulfilling. You can spend hours being lost in the flow of creating and building. It’s fun, it feels easy, it feels right! But at some point, if you are looking to live off your passion, you eventually come across the question of making money—and for a lot of us that’s when the brakes are applied. The thought of charging actual dollars scares the sh*t out of most people and can bring up all kinds of thoughts, such as: I’m not expert enough yet! Who am I to ask for money?! How can I possibly charge for doing something I love? What if people say no? If I am charging money that means I am taking from someone… doesn’t it?  Have you ever had those thoughts? While the only thing you should ever be charging for is something that is actually adding value to another person or solving some sort of problem in en-US text/html http://liveyourlegend.net/5-unusual-ways-to-get-paid-doing-what-you-love-even-if-youre-not-an-expert-yet/ Career & Purpose Communication & Rapport Entrepreneurship Influence & Negotiating Investing & Finance

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